What happened to April posts?

My topic for April (and Spring) somehow got mislaid in the publishing. Today, as I was checking on things here, I noticed it was missing. Delving further, the entire article was sitting there as an unpublished draft! Good, on the one hand, since my hours of work weren’t for naught. Bad, since it looks like I missed April entirely.

So, here are my options – I can forget that April has no postings and take today’s as May’s (which it apparently is!) and not have to busy myself with anything more until June. This might be a handy thing since May could be a busy month for me. I am currently gearing up to cater a gathering in honor of my daughter’s college graduation. Next comes Mother’s Day and birthdays to celebrate. Planting season has begun and there is the inevitable weeding and watering to be done regularly.

I’ve also signed up to write for another site but have to come up with a dozen more article ideas before I begin. The start up is daunting, but it promises to be somewhat lucrative, which is a good thing. I do want to get that done by the end of May. So, I have plenty on my plate right now.

Just so no one thinks I’m neglecting Body Over Fifty. I’ll check in with blog updates from time to time through the month and, as always, check the many comments I receive from everyone. If your comment(s) are not seen here, there may be several reasons for this:
1) If I detect that the comment is generated by something other than a human being, I trash it.
2) If the comment links to a site or sites trying to sell something, I spam it or trash it.
3) If I can’t understand your meaning – this does occur often – I trash it.
4) If the comment reads nearly identical to those I’ve received in the past or is too generic or asks inane questions, I trash it.
While I appreciate anyone and everyone who sincerely reads my website with a mind to being uplifted, entertained, educated, enlightened or simple curiosity, I don’t appreciate having to wade through tons of garbage in order to find the few comments from sincere readers. So, dear patron of Body Over Fifty, bear with me. The more personal your comment is, the more likely I will be to approve it. What I mean is – comment on the CONTENT of the article you’ve just read and place the comment under that article. Comments under the editorial page are just silly. And comments that talk about the appearance and mechanics of the website are getting old, if I may say so. Really, who wants to read that, anyway?

Here’s hoping your comments are intelligent, interesting or, at least, pleasant ones.

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Seasonal Tune Ups – Springtime!

Kerria in bloom w/ birdbath

Primrose

NEW GROWTH

How many of us say spring is our favorite season? Search results reveal that the numbers are underwhelmingly in favor of spring with most preferring summer and winter seasons. Fall, my personal favorite, came in dead last. This surprised me, since I think of winter and summer as extreme in character – too hot, too cold – and prefer milder, transitional climes. I prefer the changing aspects of spring and fall to the staid heat and frigid winds of the remaining two seasons. Apparently, many others do not think in those terms at all.

Why do so many feel so strongly about the changing seasons? And why do so many love Summer? Is is because they know summer means less clothing, more swimming, vacations, no school and more fun? Is it simply the sun being so high in the sky? Or is it something else entirely? Something, perhaps, spiritual?

THE SPIRITUAL SIDE OF SEASONS

For most cultures the coming of springtime holds special significance. Pagans celebrate the Vernal Equinox in late March. Native Americans, many of whom are Christian, also celebrate the Pink Moon and other rituals at this same time. Surely it is no mistake to assume that springtime has true energy. Many say that this energy is helpful for facilitating spiritual growth.

Summertime, though, possesses a different kind of energy. Growth, yes, but also, as Grove Harris in the Huffington Post commented, “Summer is widely seen as a good reason to celebrate!” He also cites the respect and awe given to the annual summer solstice event, and the knowledge that this longest day of the year now begins the descent toward the darkness of winter again. The ever-repeating cycle of life, death, and rebirth is celebrated within the seasons and summer is the representation of a life lived to its fullest. Summer is certainly worthy of celebration.

So What’s Up With Spring?

Here’s what I love about Spring –
I love seeing the tender shoots of the astilbe or the hardier stalks of asparagus thrusting up out of the warming earth. I love picking the dandelion blossoms, newly opened, and preparing them to become the elixir of spring, enjoyed in the winter. I love experiencing precipitation and breezes that don’t freeze you to the bone. I love hearing the calls of the migratory songbirds blasting through the open front door, calling to me as well as their mates. I love seeing honey bees lighting on flower after flower – and I rejoice that they are back again this year (see footnote for more about this).

I should not neglect to mention the larger fauna that delight me: deer grazing just beyond the fence line that I spy as I fix the morning coffee; groundhogs I scour the backyard to find (they should be making a return again this year); stopping to relocate box turtles crossing the roadways as I run my errands or take that midday jog (while it’s not too hot to do so); and noticing the wild, brown cottontails nibbling pink clover and wild petunia in the overgrown sections of the yard as I finish up the dishes. That’s what’s up with spring for me.

& OH YES – THE BEES!

I would be remiss not to use this opportunity to spread the word about the need to protect our planet’s bee populations. Pesticides have taken a tremendous toll on native bee numbers and encroachment of human inhabitation has severely limited the areas they can safely thrive. But without bees, plant reproduction would suffer horribly. Our vegetables and fruits would fail to become pollinated sufficiently and yields would decrease. Theoretically, without bees, we could not survive on earth. Please refrain from using harmful pesticides without first considering the ramifications to native bees. And for more information check out this website:

http://www.ars.usda.gov/main/site_main.htm?modecode=53-42-03-00

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Here’s hoping that all the seasons bring us delight and delightfully season the main course that is our life.

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Relationship Upgrades – get the latest version, now!

DEFINING UPGRADE

What do you call it when going from acquaintance to friendship? Or friendship to relationship? Or relationship to life partner? You could call it an upgrade. You know how computer programs are constantly informing you that you need to upgrade to the latest version? There is certainly the parallel to life that can be drawn – many of us need to upgrade to the latest version of relating to others.

Making friends when a youngster involved living in close proximity to one another. You played together, rode the same bus, went to the same school and sometimes you were even in the same class. You were friends.

When you got older, your friends came from farther away, perhaps, than your immediate neighborhood. Able to get around more, you rode a bike and later drove a car to meet up with them. These friends attended different schools and lived in different towns. Some friends moved away and you had long-distance friendships. Maybe you visited one another once or twice a year. Or maybe when they moved away (or you moved away) you lost touch altogether.

After college or high school, your life began in earnest. You may have gotten married and had children, leaving little time for meeting up with old chums frequently. Your communications with friends decreased from infrequent visits to occasional phone calls and, finally, to the holiday greeting card list.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU NEED ONE?

Chances are, your ‘circle of friends’ includes many co-workers, past and present. Your circle also includes those people you met along the way: while attending PTA meetings, sporting events your children participated in, or extra-curricular activity carpool-buddies. If so, you might not need an upgrade. You may be surrounded by people who you enjoy spending time with, having had and still having common interests to share and discuss. You, happily, are “good to go.”

Then there are those who didn’t socialize much while their kids were growing up. Your occupation was so demanding that, along with your own hobbies and interests and keeping the home-fires burning, there was not enough time and energy to sustain any real friendships. Now that you and your spouse have more than enough free time to do some socializing, you find you have few people to socialize with. You definitely need an upgrade! Quite possibly, you actually need to install the program!

WHICH UPGRADE IS FOR YOU?

If you think about it (and since you’re reading this, you are thinking about it), you not only need to upgrade your “social network”, but your relationship with your now-grown children. It’s easy to carry on with the status quo, but don’t you and they deserve to upgrade? After all, they’re not young adults who need so much consistency and direction from you anymore. They need to know you’re there, certainly, but more to listen and just to be present in their lives, giving advice only when it’s requested.
Think back to when you were in your early adult years; your parents and other relatives celebrated your successes and accomplishments. They were there as your babies blossomed into youngsters. They commiserated with you when you had problems. That’s the role you need to be taking now. The days of telling your children what to do are over, it’s their life now, for better or worse.

And what about that partner of yours? Are you still on an even keel with them? Do you still have romantic interludes and getaways on a regular basis? Do you still do anything together besides watch the boob-tube? If the answer to these questions is “no” then you most assuredly need an upgrade. While we don’t expect the relationship to have the fire and passion it did when we first met, there should still be hot embers. Remember, embers will turn into lifeless lumps of coal if they aren’t fanned every so often. And those embers need new coal added to sustain the fire, otherwise only ashes will remain. Whatever will add coal to your embers, that’s what you’ll need to upgrade to.

Suppose our other friendships have languished or even succumbed to complete abandonment – is there a way to breathe life back into them? Can they be resuscitated? I’m here to say that there is and you don’t need to learn CPR to do it!
On a recent trip to my home state and town, I met up with a couple of grade school/ high school friends I hadn’t seen in many years. We each spent a few hours together – one a visit to their home and another dinner at a local diner – while we were in town. Since then, we have kept in touch via email and social networking sites. They do plan to reciprocate our visit by stopping by when they travel to our area of the country. I also intend to visit them again when I travel back there for my 40th high school reunion this year. Meeting up with them was, well, it was like time had not passed at all. It was rejuvenating.
There are also those friends in closer proximity that I haven’t kept up who, for one reason or another, suddenly I’m reconnecting with. We meet for lunch dates most often. So, rekindling the old friendships is not difficult at all – if I can do it, anyone can.

Lastly, and perhaps closest to my own heart, is the relationship we have with new additions to our family – the grandkids! Those little rugrats are just the best thing that could happen to an over-fifty body! And you get to “work up” to being back in the swing of things with them. First, they’re tiny babies who only need to be held and fed and changed; not physically demanding at all. As they get older, you get to move around with them more and more. Taking strolls while pushing them around gets us walking and enjoying the outdoors (or malls, whatever). Then they have us running to keep up with them – at birthday parties, ball games, zoos, picnics, beaches, parks. We’re getting more fit all the time! It’s good for us, great for them and it’s what life is all about – fun, family, life and love.

THE LATEST VERSION IS NEVER THE LAST VERSION

Whenever we change, even the littlest bit, we upgrade. We’re never changing for our own detriment but for our own good. Those of us who have a spiritual bent, we desire to upgrade our spirits as we get older. Those with a passion for the active life, they want to get stronger and have more stamina. Those whose interests lie in knowledge want to know more and know it better and more fully. Most of us are a combination of all that and more. Not one of us has all the answers to life’s mysteries, but we can know that change is forever. We’re never done upgrading and the latest version is never the final one – there are always more to come. And there lies the adventure!

May all your relationships be upgraded to the latest and best versions and, most of all, may they bring you love.

Fabrics-store.com

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Calorie burn ideas – update!

Hey people, I just saw a report on GMA this morning about burning calories while doing housework. I was intrigued enough to watch because I saw a teaser of the homemaker/exerciser doing what she calls the “rag drag” and was reminded of my discovery about using wet wipes to clean the floor with my feet. I’m not sure what type of “rags” she was using, but they were white and she used one on each foot whereas I, being afraid I’d fall on my you-know-what, used only one foot at a time. The calorie burning benefits were three times what you’d burn by using a mop!

Other ways this lady stays fit doing housework is by incorporating Brazilian butt squats while doing the dishes and doing lunges while pushing the vacuum. She also cleans the counter then sits on it, leans back a bit and lifts her legs up and down together to tone up the abdominal area.

She uses the liquid laundry soap bottle to do tricep curls while doing wash and gets in a little jumping for the legs while washing the windows outside, too. I’ll bet you could figure out other ways to get funky while you’re cleaning once you get into the habit of doing it. She advises that it takes 30 days to develop a habit, so you have to make a conscious effort to remember these tips for that first month, then it should come naturally.

She says she’s lost a lot of weight doing her housework this way, and the reporter from GMA wore a calorie burn wrist thingy that shows a threefold gain doing it her way. I’m a believer. No gym membership or fancy equipment required, just do what you always do, only better. Awesome!

Here’s hoping your house gets cleaner and your butt gets tighter.

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What Do I Do Now That The Kids Are Gone – Pt.2

Alright, so we’ve looked at how we now have more time, freedom and, quite possibly, money at our disposal now that the kids have vacated the premises. I threw out some ideas to think about, like taking up waylaid interests again, traveling more and maybe cutting back on overtime to allow more time with our partners. What else has come to mind as we’ve mulled over those ideas? I would love to hear some feedback about how my writings might be impacting your journey through these years following 50. In any case, let’s put some wings on our “empty nest” journey and see what flies.

SMALL STEPS FIRST

I find that reorganizing and re-prioritizing things helps me move through times of change more smoothly. I admit, I have a tough time with change, especially when it is abrupt. Perhaps that’s why it took me a while to figure out that the nest was empty – I denied the changes altogether. Whatever my own roadblock, or yours, restructuring our lives in some way can assist with any time of transitioning.

Chances are your home was arranged, in part, to accommodate the children’s needs: a place to do homework and study, a place to watch movies and play video games, a place to entertain their friends, maybe even a space to practice dance or gymnastics or play music. Those areas are now yours and your partners to do with what you will. A craft room for sewing or jewelry-making or a “man cave” complete with pool table and dart board might be nice; or one of each. Why not?

Your home’s furnishings may have been chosen to be sturdy and able to take the abuse that kids often inflict upon them. Perhaps now you’d like some “nice stuff” to surround you and relax on. In our living area, we opted for a couple of nice recliners, nixing the sofa altogether. When we entertain, it’s usually while sitting at the dining room table, anyway. And speaking of the dining room, I find it very nice to finally have some decent china and actual glasses (not plastic) now that I don’t have to worry so much about breakage. I also had the financial leeway to afford a buffet and china hutch for the dining room, something I couldn’t do while raising our brood. (By the way, it’s not true when they say it’s as easy to raise two children as one; and it’s pretty near mind-bending to raise four while working full time as a nurse.) While it’s not absolutely a given, upgrading our living areas can help us begin this new chapter in our lives. Starting fresh, so to speak, can give us a whole new, and more alive, outlook on life.

MAKE THAT CHANGE

After any physical changes to your home are made, there comes the alteration to how you think about managing your time. I know a lot of people, probably wisely, are working all they can to set aside a large nest egg so they can retire in comfort, security and enjoy their remaining years. Personally, I am like the grasshopper who fiddled all day while the ants toiled in preparation for a winter of scarcity. Don’t take my advice on everything as gospel, certainly. It’s just my humble opinion and choice to live as I do. I do vow not to whine and moan about those with more money or finer homes than I have – I accept full responsibility for my actions. In that light, my choice to adjust my own use of time for doing what I enjoy doing should be viewed as merely something to think about.

My choices are somewhat based on my years in Nursing, exposed to the ill and dying lamenting their own choices in life. Most of their regrets had to do with focusing on making money rather than enjoying themselves throughout their younger years. “Enjoying yourself” has nothing to do with constant partying or debauchery; spending time with loved ones and being involved with the pastimes that make you appreciate life are what people often miss out on. I can quote one dear lady: “Tell your mother not to wait until she retires to follow her dreams;” I was younger then, early 30s, and we were conversing about how she’d worked so hard all her life for the day she could take her hard-earned cash and retire to a little farm in the country. Doing just that, she very soon found out she had a terminal illness. She was too ill at that point to enjoy her country farm. It’s regretful that so often we discover that our plans have turned into nightmares instead of dreams.

By way of another example, I was raised by parents with great work ethics. They have been retired now for about 13 years. They don’t travel or vacation, except a few states away, once a year, to visit family and friends. Though neither of them were professionals or college-educated, they own their home and have just about paid for their newest car, a Nissan Versa. They are comfortable but not rich. Their goals were not lofty. They did not aspire to own a mansion or have a boat or a vacation home somewhere. And they are content with how things have turned out. Any regrets about how their lives have played out have to do with how they dealt with their time and priorities when they were younger, like many. As their child, I wish they could see more of the world – Dad’s mother’s homeland, Ireland, for example, – but they could if they wanted to – they don’t. They believe they are waiting for a greater reward in the next life. I know that’s a pretty unpopular idea these days, but it’s one I also choose to share.

THE SUM OF THIS LIFE

Perhaps the former belief is one reason I’m not very concerned about my future financial security. While I don’t aim to be a poster child for the foolhardy, I feel that my last 20 or so years (God willing) are better spent being creative and joyful rather than stressed and miserable (which I was). I began my adulthood with nothing and I can’t imagine myself needing any more than I have now. I certainly am blessed with

Dawn of a New Day

Sunrise in TN

more than I deserve. I have love, health, family and live surrounded by nature. And that’s always been my dream.
________________________________________________

Thanks for allowing my thoughts into your heads. I hope none of your dreams ever turn into nightmares.

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What Do I Do Now That The Kids Are Gone? Part 1

Jump Right In Delving right in to this topic, I did some research to see what others were saying about how to cope with the empty nest. Not surprisingly, I learned a few things in the process. Allow me to … Continue reading

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What Do I Do Now That the Kids are Gone- CREATE!

I love doing crafts and creating handmade accessories for my home. What is great is when other people enjoy and support your artistic endeavors as well.
Try Handmade
And check me out here too – https://www.facebook.com/CsCraftedCreations

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Get To It!

Every new journey starts somewhere

I’m proud to say that I’ve begun (once more) to follow my own advice. Since it’s been so wet and muddy here in the hinterlands of Tennessee, I’ve had too many excuses not to go walking. The excuses got old, even to me, so I dragged the old stepper out, greased it up a little and got on it.

Needless to say, after 5 minutes I knew I was working! I shed the sweater. Another 2 or 3 minutes, and I started to cramp up in the quadriceps, so I took a stretch and got back on. After 10 minutes, I shed the shirt and wondered how long I should make my initial workout. Checking the heart rate, I found it to be only mildly elevated, so I pushed on. I decided to quit at 15 minutes and do some stretches. Then I did a bit of Tai-chi to round out the 30 minutes I’d promised myself I’d do.

I used to do a program that involved mild aerobics, stretching and light weights for 30 minutes 4 to 5 days a week. I enjoyed it and it kept me in pretty good shape. Then I got out of the habit. It’s been a year and a half since I broke that good habit and I’m trying to get back on track. Wish me luck, although I know there’s no luck involved, just dedication and getting to it!

Here’s hoping all us over-fifties find the inspiration to get up and move every day!

Posted in Active Life, Coping After Fifty, Finding Humor in Milestones, Managing Health, Moderate Exercise, Senior Lifestyle | 2 Comments

What Do I Do Now That the Kids Are Gone?

It may come to you suddenly, out of the wild blue yonder, the realization that your life is now your own. It did to me. Several months after our home was vacated by the last of our progeny, my husband and I were spending a quiet evening at home, watching TV, when I was struck by the thought that there was no one, except my husband, to “report” to.

Parents, for the most part, plan their weekends, nights, days even, around their children’s events and schedules, and we did as well. Long weekends to the mountains or a week off work included making plans to take the kids or make arrangements for them. Even after they were old enough to stay home alone, we were reticent to allow them to do so. Not that we didn’t trust them, it was just impossible not to worry “what might happen” without our presence.

It was months after we had the house to ourselves that we realized we could come and go as we pleased! Spur of the moment weekends away were no longer wishful thinking. A two week road trip to New England, could perhaps be in the cards. A flight to Denver to view the Rocky Mountains in their fall splendor – all these things were open to us now. As this dawned on us, we sat there, starry-eyed, dreaming of the possibilities.

We planned and packed and did the things that we were now free to do. The vistas of New England remain wonderful to behold when we again view the pictures we now keep in albums and frames. The memory of seafood we devoured still makes us swoon. The hikes to waterfalls, lighthouse climbs and beach walks revitalize us even now, years later. There are still trips we want to take, too. The Grand Canyon and Yellowstone National Park are on our bucket list, along with an Alaskan cruise, perhaps.

But still, that “empty nest” is a bit daunting. Don’t get me wrong, we are not one of those couples who pines for our children to come see us, we see them plenty. We don’t feel like we’re “rattling around” in this empty old house, either. But there’s still plenty to consider about the present and future now that every last child is (at least for now, and in this economy – who knows how long?) gone from home.

So, I got busy thinking about how best to cope with the situation and maybe help other people who aren’t coping as well as we are. What I came up with is a one-word answer – and the word is “reorganize.” You may think I mean clear out the physical space the children used to occupy and re-purpose it. While that’s not at all a bad idea, especially if you have a plan for it, that’s not exactly the only type of reorganization I mean. As before, the next three blogs I post will have to do with reorganizing – first, your priorities in regard to relationships with others; second, how you spend your days or your time; and third, indeed, is possibilities for reorganizing your space.

I hope that the topic, this time, is one that will interest many of you. And as always, may you find it enlightening, supportive, and, at the very least, entertaining. Until next time, be well and make time for yourself!

Posted in Coping After Fifty, Finding Humor in Milestones, Managing Health | Leave a comment

The Days Are Getting Longer

Beyond The Solstice

Here we are again, beyond the holidays, past the longest night of the year and moving on toward 2012. Winter, I’ve read, is a favorite season for many people – for Sting, for one. There is a lot to be enjoyed within the coldest days of the Northern Hemisphere’s year: snow, icicles, wearing all that wool – gloves, scarves, hats, socks and coats.

There’s also a lot not to be enjoyed this time of year: driving on ice, being cold, power outages from winter storms, cold feet, frostbite and slush. Be thankful if you have a warm home because many don’t. Be generous and give away any extra coats, sweaters and such that you may have because many don’t enjoy such luxury.

Light And Dark

The biggest thing about winter to me is the change in the sun’s angle in the sky and the length of the day being so short. Being born in the Northern Hemisphere, in a temperate zone, I’m used to this being the way it is. It’s fascinating that those living on the equator don’t experience this phenomenon, while those living in more northerly zones experience it to an even greater extent.

Our earth within our solar system under our sun has passed the one day that marks the winter solstice and is now hurtling onward, around the elliptical track that carries us through one year and the next. We now look forward to Spring, then Summer, Fall and then Winter again, at least those of us living in the Northern Hemisphere.

Look Up

When thinking back on the past year and its seasons spent, it’s important to avoid dwelling on regrets, feelings of lack or becoming mired in reliving dark days we may have experienced. Instead raise your eyes to the sky, enjoying and being thankful for sunlit hours or starlit nights. Gaze at the full moon (next due Jan. 7th). Watch snowflakes falling from clouds or watch icicles forming from the tree limbs or gutters of the house.

If there are things you regret about the past year, resolve to avoid repeating mistakes. Break the cycle of bad habits, visit with your close family, friends and neighbors more or phone family and friends that live far away more often. Get outside more often, turning off the TV, even for only a short time. Read, listen to music or rekindle a desire to be creative by way of writing, painting, crafts, scrapbooking or cooking up new recipes in your kitchen.

Live Life

Motivate yourself to become an active participant in life again! It’s so easy to get into a rut, doing the same things every day. Wake up one morning and decide to do it differently – have tea instead of coffee and take it outside sipping it’s warm goodness while listening to the sounds of the outdoors. You may be surprised at the positive energy this brings you. Tap into that as often as you can and enjoy the winter. Relish the cold, knowing that warmth is available indoors and being appreciative of that fact.

If you live in the country, throw out some bread or nuts for the birds and squirrels and watch as they eventually come to feast. If you live in the city, you can still enjoy the sounds of life all around you. The bustle of people hurrying in the cold, cars, trucks, dog walkers, and children. I am not sure why we become more sedentary as we grow older, except that we think that’s what is expected. It surely doesn’t do our arthritis any good to avoid exercising, in fact the opposite is true.

Stop Stopping Things

If you’ve stopped sweeping the floor because it tires you out, try doing it again. Buy a new broom (they do sweep cleaner, as the saying goes) and a dustpan with a long handle and sweep a small area to start. If anyone tries to stop you, give them the raspberries. If you’ve stopped doing dishes, try it again. The warm water is great first thing in the morning for stiff finger joints. If you have a dishwasher, forget about it, wash something in the sink anyway.

If you’ve stopped doing needlework because it became difficult to see, buy a good light and a magnifier and try it again. You enjoyed doing it once and you’ll enjoy doing it again. Maybe you used to play piano but got away from it for some reason. Play the piano again! Or the guitar, or flute, whatever – just do it and stop stopping things!

Here’s hoping 2012 brings light, life and happy, healthy living to you and yours!

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